Last night after dinner, Big A insisted on having a popsicle. We talked her into grapes instead.
The four of us were outside on the deck, the girls running in and out of their playhouse, fighting over who gets to sit on which chair. (They are exactly alike, but you cannot tell Big A that, or anything else for that matter.) Remember, she is 30.
Hubby had the bowl of grapes and from time to time one of the girls would come over and help themselves. Little A, had one in her hand and wanted another one. I guess she decided she was old enough to double fist. Well…maybe not, because she dropped one on the deck. Immediately, I picked it up and threw it off the deck as to not tempt her or Big A to pick it up and promptly deliver it to their mouths. Again, Little A, demanded to hold two at a time, again dropping one. This time before I could reach it, Little A toddled over to it, picked it up and hurled it with all of her might……..about 1 foot from where she was standing. Satisfied with her efforts, she walked right over it and squished it. Guess that is it for that grape. No one is putting that in their mouths. And a good thing she had her shoes on too.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Daily Daycare Adventures
I went to get the girls. Picking them up is always eventful , as it is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you are going to get. Yesterday, we had two extra ingredients (for extra fun, of course.) One, the teacher’s aide pulls out two tootsie roll pops and hands one to each girl. Ummmm, lady, WTH????? So, I have two choices, prepare for battle. Deep breath!
1. Refuse to open and watch both girls have a meltdown
2. Let them have them on the way home and hope it does not hype them up beyond control or ruin their dinner.
Bad Mommy, I chose option 2. We start toward the car – picture this……….. I have Lil A on one hip, Big A on the other and like a fool I wore my hair down, so I am trying to carry them up a hill, in heels all the while avoiding lollipop hair. I make it to the car, I strap Lil A in her carseat, I take Big A to the other side, she climbs in and is just about to sit in her carseat (whew, I made it. Uh, no – not so fast Mommy) Big A starts complaining about her tummy hurts. She flat out refuses to get in her seat. Ok, it is at least 100 degrees outside, I have just carried two children who weigh at least 20 pounds a piece up the hill, in heels all the while avoiding getting sticky candy in my hair – get in your seat. And then it hits me, THAT smell. “Big A, did you poop?” Yes, Mommy I poopie. GREAT! Now, I have to get you out, Lil A out and go back inside. I get Big A out, I get Lil A out, once again avoiding the sticky mess, what? Big A? You want me to carry you too? So here we go, two kids in tow, down the hill, in heels, avoiding the sticky mess (and a partridge in a pear tree) We get inside, change panties, Big A is now sporting Elmo panties. Tinkerbelle panties are now in a Wal-Mart baggie. Out the door, two kids in tow, up the hill, in heels, avoiding the sticky mess. We get home – we haven’t had a meltdown. WHEW!!! I lay down to go to sleep, crisis averted - $hit, I have lollipop in my hair. I guess tomorrow is wash you hair day for Mommy!!!
1. Refuse to open and watch both girls have a meltdown
2. Let them have them on the way home and hope it does not hype them up beyond control or ruin their dinner.
Bad Mommy, I chose option 2. We start toward the car – picture this……….. I have Lil A on one hip, Big A on the other and like a fool I wore my hair down, so I am trying to carry them up a hill, in heels all the while avoiding lollipop hair. I make it to the car, I strap Lil A in her carseat, I take Big A to the other side, she climbs in and is just about to sit in her carseat (whew, I made it. Uh, no – not so fast Mommy) Big A starts complaining about her tummy hurts. She flat out refuses to get in her seat. Ok, it is at least 100 degrees outside, I have just carried two children who weigh at least 20 pounds a piece up the hill, in heels all the while avoiding getting sticky candy in my hair – get in your seat. And then it hits me, THAT smell. “Big A, did you poop?” Yes, Mommy I poopie. GREAT! Now, I have to get you out, Lil A out and go back inside. I get Big A out, I get Lil A out, once again avoiding the sticky mess, what? Big A? You want me to carry you too? So here we go, two kids in tow, down the hill, in heels, avoiding the sticky mess (and a partridge in a pear tree) We get inside, change panties, Big A is now sporting Elmo panties. Tinkerbelle panties are now in a Wal-Mart baggie. Out the door, two kids in tow, up the hill, in heels, avoiding the sticky mess. We get home – we haven’t had a meltdown. WHEW!!! I lay down to go to sleep, crisis averted - $hit, I have lollipop in my hair. I guess tomorrow is wash you hair day for Mommy!!!
Meet Lil A
My youngest daughter, Lil A is the quiet baby. Don't get me wrong, she is very much mine, meaning she is stubborn, wait, she gets that from her Daddy. LOL! True, she is quiet, but she is very bright, tender, selfless, righteous ( yes at 19 months old, she is very much so!) and next to her sister, she is the most loving child I know.
Born on a national holiday b/c it fit into hubby's training schedule and well, let's face it.........I wanted her out!!!
When Big A was about 7 months old, I told hubby, I was ready to try again. "It's a bit early, isn't it? That was his reply. True, it was a bit early, but I reasoned with him it had taken us a while to conceive Big A, so why not sooner than later?
So, I went off BC pills and we waited for my two normal cycles, which followed right after I stopped taking the pill. I went out and spent a ridiculous amount of money on OPK's and had a new little toy, a fertility monitor. I purchased it the cycle we conceived Big A, so I never got to use it.
With hubby still working out of state and commuting on weekends only, we knew timing was going to be an issue, again another argument I used for starting sooner than later. Fate smiled on us once again, and I was due to O on a weekend. even thou, by hubby promised to take vacation time to drive 6 hours to 'service' his wife if I should get a positive OPK during the week.
Green light on the weekend of the first official cycle of TTC. Despite Big A still getting up 3 or 4 times a night and our usual crankiness due to sleep deprivation, we managed to make the best of the fertile weekend. :) I kissed hubby good bye on Sunday and on the last hug, he whispered to me "We did it."
So, 10 days later, POAS - NEGATIVE! Ouch that hurt!! I was bummed and so was hubby, but we knew what the odds were. However, something kept telling me in my heart the fat lady wasn't singing. So, 2 later, I POAS - again it was negative. Ouch, that hurt even worse. mmmn, let's not do that again.
When I was officially late, which was 3 days later I decided it was once again time to test. This time I knew it was going to be negative, but I needed to be able to tell Dr. M it was negative so he could write be a provera Rx and I could move on to the next cycle.
So at lunch I went to the $ store b/c on the TTC message board someone said to use those b/c they are just as sensitive as the freaking overly priced FRE's. I purchased 5 of them. Looked at my watch and noted I could test at 4:37pm.
It was 4:30pm and I was back at work, but all I could think about was the HPT's hidden in my desk. Temptation got the best of me, I slipped one in my purse and made my way to our office ladies room. $ store tests are great, but messy. You have to collect your urine and use the dropper, you can't just POAS. I dropped the required amount and went about my business, knowing I was just going to wrap it up in TP and throw it in the trash. I picked it up, grabbed some TP and then STOPPED. OMG!!! Is that a second line????????? Holy shit, that is a second line! Shit, how much time has elapsed? Is that an evaporation line? Damn, why didn't I bring two test with me. I went straight from the ladies room to my desk and just grabbed another one, not caring who saw what or the eyebrows is raised. Locked myself in the stall and once again dropped the required amount onto the test. Only this time I paid attention to the test and my watch. Sure enough within two minutes a second line appeared. OMG!!! Hubby was right, we did it.
The next morning I took another one, a FRE and called Dr M., who ordered a beta. Lil A's numbers were not anything like her sisters, that should have been my first clue they were going to be different.
I did have morning sickness with Lil A, but it was just that, morning sickness. It was usually gone by lunchtime. And, if that wasn't good enough, around my 16week, it was gone. It would occasionally come back for a few days, but nothing like before. Lil A was quiet in-utero, so much she had me sacred most of the time. We too had our morning routine, where some mornings I needed to play her favorite song (different from Big A's) to get her moving. I found myself more scared this time around. There was so much more at stake. Lil A, would listen and every now and then gentle nudge me to let me know she was fine and everything was going to be ok.
During this pregnancy, my hubby got transferred back here, the only catch?? He had to go through another academy and there was no way to schedule it around Lil A due date. I hate the government! So my hubby started the academy in September, I was due the first of January. He would finish the academy in February. My hubby was still only 6 hours away, so the chances of him making the birth in time was good, the catch? He couldn't miss a test. There are no makeups in the academy. So, you here that Lil A, you need to be born on a non-test day. See why I hate the government.
The day after Christmas, I threw my back out. It was an awful experience. I called Dr. M and said, Look!! I am miserable, we need to talk induction. At this point I did not care if hubby was here or not, I was in a lot of pain and I needed relief. I told myself, he doesn't have an uterus, so he doesn't get to have an opinion. When he carried our next child, he could determine when he/she was born.
Dr. M agreed an induction would bring me relief and since I was technically term and 2cm dilated and already 80% effaced we could schedule it. his next day on call was 12/30. I out him on hold and called my hubby, 12/30 was ............that is right you guessed it, it was a test day. *^#% government!! i put hubby on hold and while trying to explain this situation to Dr. M. I burst into tears. So we compromised. I was still scheduled to be induced on 12/3o, just not at 6am. We could schedule it for 9pm. Hubby would take his test at 10 am, and he could drive the 6 hours and still have plenty of time to make the birth. the following day was 12/31 - a holiday for the nation and for the #$^%& academy, so he would not have to return immediately.
Ahhh! I felt much better! We had a plan. Ok, Lil A, we need to talk. We need to talk about your birthday.
12/30 is here. Normal - I get up and spend the morning time with Big A. Kiss her bye at school and go tot work. Yes, I am still working. I worked up until I delivered with Big A. Some might find that strange, but as luck would have it our office building is right across from the hospital, so I was technically closer to the hospital at work than at home. Plus, I work for two cold hearted bastards (CHB's) , but that is another post.
12/30 of that year was a Friday and even CHB's have their redeeming moments and one of them is we work 36 hours, get paid for 40 and only work half a day on Friday. Wait!!! Remember they are cold hearted - Yes we work 36 hours, but our workday begins at 7:30am -5pm.
I had lunch with my Mom and IL's, they drove all the way from the midwest to be here. They missed Big A's and regretted it, so they were here. We finished and I went to pick up Big A, only to find her Daddy had beat me to it and was already in town.
We spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying being home with Big A. The IL's left around 5pm so we could have some family time. It was nice. While giving Big A her bath, I lost it. Our lives, all of our lives were about to change forever. Lil A moved more those last hours than my entire pregnancy. Knowing her now, I know she was just reassuring me.
Right as bath time ended, our telephone rang. It was the hospital..........no room at the inn. There were no beds and we had two choices. I could wait, maybe there would be beds at midnight, or I could reschedule for 6am. Childcare had already been arranged, so we chose midnight. The nurse told us we were next on the list and there were 3 women in active labor. Our chances were good. We kissed Big A goodnight and made the necessary phone calls. My Mom came over around 9pm and we had a nice long visit. By 11pm, I was done. I needed to sleep. I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow, I dreamed about Lil A. The phone was ringing and it was hubby telling me it was the hospital and still no beds. I was sad, angry, but most all disappointed. And then, it really was hubby with the phone in his hand and it was the hospital, I needed to wake up, it was time to go.
We left for the hospital around 11:45pm. I got checked in and was in the labor room by 12:15am. Dr. M came in and broke my water at 12:20am. He gave the same option, walk or go ahead and start pitocin. I was negative for Group B this time around so I didn't have to have those awful fire burning antibiotics. It was 12:25am and I wanted to meet Lil A, so I opted for the pit. Dr. M checked me and I was 3cm. By 2am, I was a good 6, maybe a small 7 and I hurt. I wanted drugs. By 2:30am I could still feel the pain and it HURT! The epi had only taken to one side, my right side. OUCH!! I remember telling hubby to take the bolus and give a shot every time I could have one until I told him to stop. Around 3:30am, Lil A heart rate was dropping. There was talk of a c-section. I couldn't have a c-section. I have a very active toddler at home, a hubby who will be out of state and two CHB's as employers. Ok, Lil A, we need to talk again.
Dr. M told me he did not like what he was seeing, he wanted to roll me on my side and see if that would help. I was given oxygen. He was giving us 30 minutes, unless something unusual happened (like it got worse) and if no change, I was going to have a c-section.
4am, Dr. M. returned and as he was reading my strip, I called for my hubby and told him I really needed to push, he needed to tell Dr. M. My back was to Dr. M and I had that freakin mask on, so I couldn't talk to Dr. M. My hubby relayed the message and they rolled me over and I remember Dr. M. saying he needed to check to see how far along I was and then he said never mind, I can see her head. I was crowning! How is that for progression???
Two small pushed later and Lil A was here, 12/31 at 4:20am (I started pushing with Big A at 4:20pm) She scored 9/9 on her APGAR's and she also weighed 6 pounds and 6 ounces.
Lil A, also had reflux, but being parents for the second time, we were able to get her relief at 3 weeks old. By the time she was 13 weeks old, she was only feeding once a night and by the time she was 17 weeks old she was sleeping thru the night. She is still a better sleeper than Big A.
She won her first beauty/photo contest 2 months ago. She is a gentle, loving, trusting soul. Her laugh is contagious and her smile takes your breath away.
Born on a national holiday b/c it fit into hubby's training schedule and well, let's face it.........I wanted her out!!!
When Big A was about 7 months old, I told hubby, I was ready to try again. "It's a bit early, isn't it? That was his reply. True, it was a bit early, but I reasoned with him it had taken us a while to conceive Big A, so why not sooner than later?
So, I went off BC pills and we waited for my two normal cycles, which followed right after I stopped taking the pill. I went out and spent a ridiculous amount of money on OPK's and had a new little toy, a fertility monitor. I purchased it the cycle we conceived Big A, so I never got to use it.
With hubby still working out of state and commuting on weekends only, we knew timing was going to be an issue, again another argument I used for starting sooner than later. Fate smiled on us once again, and I was due to O on a weekend. even thou, by hubby promised to take vacation time to drive 6 hours to 'service' his wife if I should get a positive OPK during the week.
Green light on the weekend of the first official cycle of TTC. Despite Big A still getting up 3 or 4 times a night and our usual crankiness due to sleep deprivation, we managed to make the best of the fertile weekend. :) I kissed hubby good bye on Sunday and on the last hug, he whispered to me "We did it."
So, 10 days later, POAS - NEGATIVE! Ouch that hurt!! I was bummed and so was hubby, but we knew what the odds were. However, something kept telling me in my heart the fat lady wasn't singing. So, 2 later, I POAS - again it was negative. Ouch, that hurt even worse. mmmn, let's not do that again.
When I was officially late, which was 3 days later I decided it was once again time to test. This time I knew it was going to be negative, but I needed to be able to tell Dr. M it was negative so he could write be a provera Rx and I could move on to the next cycle.
So at lunch I went to the $ store b/c on the TTC message board someone said to use those b/c they are just as sensitive as the freaking overly priced FRE's. I purchased 5 of them. Looked at my watch and noted I could test at 4:37pm.
It was 4:30pm and I was back at work, but all I could think about was the HPT's hidden in my desk. Temptation got the best of me, I slipped one in my purse and made my way to our office ladies room. $ store tests are great, but messy. You have to collect your urine and use the dropper, you can't just POAS. I dropped the required amount and went about my business, knowing I was just going to wrap it up in TP and throw it in the trash. I picked it up, grabbed some TP and then STOPPED. OMG!!! Is that a second line????????? Holy shit, that is a second line! Shit, how much time has elapsed? Is that an evaporation line? Damn, why didn't I bring two test with me. I went straight from the ladies room to my desk and just grabbed another one, not caring who saw what or the eyebrows is raised. Locked myself in the stall and once again dropped the required amount onto the test. Only this time I paid attention to the test and my watch. Sure enough within two minutes a second line appeared. OMG!!! Hubby was right, we did it.
The next morning I took another one, a FRE and called Dr M., who ordered a beta. Lil A's numbers were not anything like her sisters, that should have been my first clue they were going to be different.
I did have morning sickness with Lil A, but it was just that, morning sickness. It was usually gone by lunchtime. And, if that wasn't good enough, around my 16week, it was gone. It would occasionally come back for a few days, but nothing like before. Lil A was quiet in-utero, so much she had me sacred most of the time. We too had our morning routine, where some mornings I needed to play her favorite song (different from Big A's) to get her moving. I found myself more scared this time around. There was so much more at stake. Lil A, would listen and every now and then gentle nudge me to let me know she was fine and everything was going to be ok.
During this pregnancy, my hubby got transferred back here, the only catch?? He had to go through another academy and there was no way to schedule it around Lil A due date. I hate the government! So my hubby started the academy in September, I was due the first of January. He would finish the academy in February. My hubby was still only 6 hours away, so the chances of him making the birth in time was good, the catch? He couldn't miss a test. There are no makeups in the academy. So, you here that Lil A, you need to be born on a non-test day. See why I hate the government.
The day after Christmas, I threw my back out. It was an awful experience. I called Dr. M and said, Look!! I am miserable, we need to talk induction. At this point I did not care if hubby was here or not, I was in a lot of pain and I needed relief. I told myself, he doesn't have an uterus, so he doesn't get to have an opinion. When he carried our next child, he could determine when he/she was born.
Dr. M agreed an induction would bring me relief and since I was technically term and 2cm dilated and already 80% effaced we could schedule it. his next day on call was 12/30. I out him on hold and called my hubby, 12/30 was ............that is right you guessed it, it was a test day. *^#% government!! i put hubby on hold and while trying to explain this situation to Dr. M. I burst into tears. So we compromised. I was still scheduled to be induced on 12/3o, just not at 6am. We could schedule it for 9pm. Hubby would take his test at 10 am, and he could drive the 6 hours and still have plenty of time to make the birth. the following day was 12/31 - a holiday for the nation and for the #$^%& academy, so he would not have to return immediately.
Ahhh! I felt much better! We had a plan. Ok, Lil A, we need to talk. We need to talk about your birthday.
12/30 is here. Normal - I get up and spend the morning time with Big A. Kiss her bye at school and go tot work. Yes, I am still working. I worked up until I delivered with Big A. Some might find that strange, but as luck would have it our office building is right across from the hospital, so I was technically closer to the hospital at work than at home. Plus, I work for two cold hearted bastards (CHB's) , but that is another post.
12/30 of that year was a Friday and even CHB's have their redeeming moments and one of them is we work 36 hours, get paid for 40 and only work half a day on Friday. Wait!!! Remember they are cold hearted - Yes we work 36 hours, but our workday begins at 7:30am -5pm.
I had lunch with my Mom and IL's, they drove all the way from the midwest to be here. They missed Big A's and regretted it, so they were here. We finished and I went to pick up Big A, only to find her Daddy had beat me to it and was already in town.
We spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying being home with Big A. The IL's left around 5pm so we could have some family time. It was nice. While giving Big A her bath, I lost it. Our lives, all of our lives were about to change forever. Lil A moved more those last hours than my entire pregnancy. Knowing her now, I know she was just reassuring me.
Right as bath time ended, our telephone rang. It was the hospital..........no room at the inn. There were no beds and we had two choices. I could wait, maybe there would be beds at midnight, or I could reschedule for 6am. Childcare had already been arranged, so we chose midnight. The nurse told us we were next on the list and there were 3 women in active labor. Our chances were good. We kissed Big A goodnight and made the necessary phone calls. My Mom came over around 9pm and we had a nice long visit. By 11pm, I was done. I needed to sleep. I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow, I dreamed about Lil A. The phone was ringing and it was hubby telling me it was the hospital and still no beds. I was sad, angry, but most all disappointed. And then, it really was hubby with the phone in his hand and it was the hospital, I needed to wake up, it was time to go.
We left for the hospital around 11:45pm. I got checked in and was in the labor room by 12:15am. Dr. M came in and broke my water at 12:20am. He gave the same option, walk or go ahead and start pitocin. I was negative for Group B this time around so I didn't have to have those awful fire burning antibiotics. It was 12:25am and I wanted to meet Lil A, so I opted for the pit. Dr. M checked me and I was 3cm. By 2am, I was a good 6, maybe a small 7 and I hurt. I wanted drugs. By 2:30am I could still feel the pain and it HURT! The epi had only taken to one side, my right side. OUCH!! I remember telling hubby to take the bolus and give a shot every time I could have one until I told him to stop. Around 3:30am, Lil A heart rate was dropping. There was talk of a c-section. I couldn't have a c-section. I have a very active toddler at home, a hubby who will be out of state and two CHB's as employers. Ok, Lil A, we need to talk again.
Dr. M told me he did not like what he was seeing, he wanted to roll me on my side and see if that would help. I was given oxygen. He was giving us 30 minutes, unless something unusual happened (like it got worse) and if no change, I was going to have a c-section.
4am, Dr. M. returned and as he was reading my strip, I called for my hubby and told him I really needed to push, he needed to tell Dr. M. My back was to Dr. M and I had that freakin mask on, so I couldn't talk to Dr. M. My hubby relayed the message and they rolled me over and I remember Dr. M. saying he needed to check to see how far along I was and then he said never mind, I can see her head. I was crowning! How is that for progression???
Two small pushed later and Lil A was here, 12/31 at 4:20am (I started pushing with Big A at 4:20pm) She scored 9/9 on her APGAR's and she also weighed 6 pounds and 6 ounces.
Lil A, also had reflux, but being parents for the second time, we were able to get her relief at 3 weeks old. By the time she was 13 weeks old, she was only feeding once a night and by the time she was 17 weeks old she was sleeping thru the night. She is still a better sleeper than Big A.
She won her first beauty/photo contest 2 months ago. She is a gentle, loving, trusting soul. Her laugh is contagious and her smile takes your breath away.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Meet Big A
Big A, well, she is a handful, always has been. I remember TTC her - Hubby was working in another state and fate brought him close by. I remember going home at lunch and using the next to last OPK and watching those two beautiful lines appear. Hubby and I met later that night and well ....10 days later two more beautiful lines appeared, only this wasn't an OPK, this was a HPT. Uh, oh! We did it.....we are going to have a baby. As soon as my eyes saw those two lines, Big A announced her presence with authority. I instantly began to suffer with morning sickness. Only, it was all day/night sickness. Naive as I was I began to mark off the days on my calendar for my 2T. 13 weeks, I could do this.......I only needed to make it for 'X' amount of days. What someone didn't tell me was 20% of women have morning sickness their entire pregnancy. Guess what percentage I fell in? YEP!!! I was sick everyday. I threw up atleast once everyday. I didn't feel her move, I felt her dance!!! She knew I feared the worst and she let me know everyday she was there, alive and healthy, even at 1:30am when all I wanted to do was sleep and all she wanted to do was dance! It was beautiful. She knew all my fears and comforted every one of them. Even the birthing experience....... By the 4 month in-utero, Big A and I had settled into a routine. Alarm at 5:30am, shower at 5:35am. Every morning I would rub my tummy and we would talk about her dancing all thru out the night and what the new day would bring for us. And then we would talk about her and the day that would be her birthday. I told her Mommy was rookie and please be gentle on her special day. She would kick me to let me know she understood. If I didn't feel a kick, I would patiently until it was time for me to leave for work, which was around 7am. Still no response, I would rub my tummy and tell her she was just wanting to hear her favorite song.........immediately after turning on the CD, kick, kick. It was one of the most incredible feelings.
Big A's birthday. This day started out as all the others, only a tiny bit earlier. Big A was being induced and we had to be at the hospital by 6am. I remember standing in the shower, rubbing my tummy telling her all about the day and asking again for her to be gentle. She begin to dance, which made me cry, b/c I knew.......this was the last morning like this one. In-utero she was safe from the harsh world. In- utero she was with me 24/7. In-utero she was strong, healthy and alive. I was uncertain what the next 24 hours would be like and I was scared.
6am -checked into the hospital.
8am - Dr. M comes in and meets my hubby for the first time (hubby worked out of state)
8:30am - Dr. M breaks my water and I am hooked up to antibiotics b/c I am group B +
9:30 am - Off the IV and start walking to get labor moving on my own.
11am - no change we start pitocin
12pm - Starting to feel contractions, I'm 4 cm, 80% effaced
1pm- I am 6cm, still 80% effaced and I want drugs, NOW!!!!
1:30pm - Ahhhh, that is much better, I think I want to sleep now.
3:30pm- I am 7cm, still only 80% effaced, nurse tells the doc she will see him after office hours.
4pm- I am 10cm, 100% effaced, the nurse is calling the doc, who has just made it back to his practice.
4:20pm- Dr. M is back and it is time to push.
4:50pm- Big A is here, she scores 8/9 on her APGAR
5Pm - We are a family! She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen!! And On, my, my morning sickness is finally gone. :)
Big A weighed 6lbs and 6oz at birth. And don't let her fool you - she may have been tiny at birth, but OMGoodness, she is 3y/o going on 30!!
She had reflux as an infant so it took us about 8 weeks to get it under control. She never slept well. She slept thru the night 1x at 10 months old and did not do it again until the night I came home from the hospital with "Lil A". I remember being pregnant with Lil A, rubbing my tummy, looking at Big A saying - Look! One of you is going to sleep thru the night, I don't care which one, you two talk about and make a decision, but one of you will need to sleep thru the night!
Big A is still tiny. She is 3 and only wears a 2T. She is ALL muscle, there is not an ounce of fat on her. We affectionately call her the tornado b/c she moves ALL the time. She is on the go from the moment her feet hit the floor at 6am until her head hits the pillow at 8:30pm.
She is beautiful, ALL girl, smart as a whip, stubborn as a mule (she gets that from hubby, LOL!) and one of the most loving children I know. She has 'that' look that would give Scarlett O'Hara a run for her money.
Big A's birthday. This day started out as all the others, only a tiny bit earlier. Big A was being induced and we had to be at the hospital by 6am. I remember standing in the shower, rubbing my tummy telling her all about the day and asking again for her to be gentle. She begin to dance, which made me cry, b/c I knew.......this was the last morning like this one. In-utero she was safe from the harsh world. In- utero she was with me 24/7. In-utero she was strong, healthy and alive. I was uncertain what the next 24 hours would be like and I was scared.
6am -checked into the hospital.
8am - Dr. M comes in and meets my hubby for the first time (hubby worked out of state)
8:30am - Dr. M breaks my water and I am hooked up to antibiotics b/c I am group B +
9:30 am - Off the IV and start walking to get labor moving on my own.
11am - no change we start pitocin
12pm - Starting to feel contractions, I'm 4 cm, 80% effaced
1pm- I am 6cm, still 80% effaced and I want drugs, NOW!!!!
1:30pm - Ahhhh, that is much better, I think I want to sleep now.
3:30pm- I am 7cm, still only 80% effaced, nurse tells the doc she will see him after office hours.
4pm- I am 10cm, 100% effaced, the nurse is calling the doc, who has just made it back to his practice.
4:20pm- Dr. M is back and it is time to push.
4:50pm- Big A is here, she scores 8/9 on her APGAR
5Pm - We are a family! She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen!! And On, my, my morning sickness is finally gone. :)
Big A weighed 6lbs and 6oz at birth. And don't let her fool you - she may have been tiny at birth, but OMGoodness, she is 3y/o going on 30!!
She had reflux as an infant so it took us about 8 weeks to get it under control. She never slept well. She slept thru the night 1x at 10 months old and did not do it again until the night I came home from the hospital with "Lil A". I remember being pregnant with Lil A, rubbing my tummy, looking at Big A saying - Look! One of you is going to sleep thru the night, I don't care which one, you two talk about and make a decision, but one of you will need to sleep thru the night!
Big A is still tiny. She is 3 and only wears a 2T. She is ALL muscle, there is not an ounce of fat on her. We affectionately call her the tornado b/c she moves ALL the time. She is on the go from the moment her feet hit the floor at 6am until her head hits the pillow at 8:30pm.
She is beautiful, ALL girl, smart as a whip, stubborn as a mule (she gets that from hubby, LOL!) and one of the most loving children I know. She has 'that' look that would give Scarlett O'Hara a run for her money.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Happy Mother's Day!!
To every woman who has carried a child, even for a brief second. Given birth to a child, only to have them whisked away to heaven moments, days or years later. Or can hear them screaming your name "Mommmmie." right now - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!! We have ALL earned the title MOM.
To every woman who has carried a child, even for a brief second. Given birth to a child, only to have them whisked away to heaven moments, days or years later. Or can hear them screaming your name "Mommmmie." right now - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!! We have ALL earned the title MOM.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Someone Wants Your Seat
Yesterday, I was introduced to the world of blogging and bloggers. For almost three hours I sat at my computer and was mesmerized by what I read. I laughed, I snorted, I rolled my eyes and I cried. I was completely touched by two specifics blogs. I know the authors, but I don't know them. I have never met either IRL, I know them only by a screen name and a message board we all have been a member of for three years.
Nearly three years ago, I joined a message board. It is a board for women who are trying to conceive (TTC). Posters share their TTC experiences with other women, who are TTC. It is a great board where women talk openly and freely about what is going on with their bodies, minds and souls.
The first year I was a member I met one of these women. I know her as M, she is kind, friendly and way back then very optimistic about life. We even "graduated" together. You graduate when you conceive. Ultimately you move to another board where other women like you are talking about their ever changing pregnant bodies.
But, life is unfair and graduation did not last long, she miscarried. Being pregnant for the first time, I was speechless and did not how to respond, because the hard cold truth was - even though I was thinking of her, I was also thanking God it wasn't me! I told you it was cold and cruel. But, in all honesty, can any of you say you wouldn't have the same thoughts??
I went about my way, periodically checking the TTC board just to see how everyone was doing and such. I went into lurkedom, because trust me the last thing any non-pregnant, TTC woman wants to hear, it is from a graduate. These women do not mean to be harsh or harbor ill will, they simply want so desperately what you have, a chance to be a mother. They want to be a part of your club, your world. Yet, hearing from you is like Eddie Murphy's - You ain't got no ice cream routine. It is a slap in the face. No matter how good your intentions are, trust me, it is a slap in the face. Example, it took my husband and I 9 cycles to conceive, during those 9 cycles my emotions were all over the place. One time when I was throwing myself a pity party, a friend of mine who had already birthed SIX children said to me "I'll just have one for you." Now, at first this sounds like a very selfless act and I truly know that is how it was meant. But, it is not how it was received. It was yet another reminder that not only did she have something I so desperately wanted, she was rubbing the proverbial Eddie Murphy ice cream in my face. Not cool!! So I took my cue and laid low as I should!
During the second year, I met lady number two, who I know as G. She is funny, bright and like the first full of optimism - long ago. The second year was different for all three of us. I graduated for the second time and so did they. All of us moved to the respective baby board and waited with anticipation the arrival of the newest member of our families.
M was to be first in the birthing order, followed by G and then me.
All three of us gave birth, I was the only one who brought my baby home. You see, as I sit here my heart is breaking for them. From the moment each one told their story, my heart broke. I rubbed my then pregnant tummy, again, thanking God it wasn't me. Again, being selfish, cold and and somewhat heartless.
I have two beautiful children, healthy, strong, stubborn and at the end of the day, they are home with me.
In the last few days, there have been changes in my life and in my attitude. A slip up that may just add another addition to our family, a strong desire to scream because of the changes that may come about because of the not so being as careful as we should. And then I think about those two special women, M & G. And I know in my heart what they would give to be sitting in my seat, living my life. How can one not count their blessings?
I think about my Mom, who only lives a few minutes away from me, who is such a big part of my life and my children's lives. And then I think about a friend of mine in SC, who a month ago today flew on a plane across the states to be with her Mom before she underwent brain surgery. Her Mom has yet to come out of a coma. Her future is uncertain at this point and my friend is trying to accept the fact she may lose her mother, her best friend not even a year after saying goodbye to her Dad. What would she give for my seat?
I think about my hubby, who I love with all of my soul, but at times can make me loose it. And then I think about a friend of mine who lost her husband in Iraq, or J, who lost her husband to apnea two years ago. What would either one of them give to be sitting where I am?
Yes, my life is truly good and I am truly blessed. I know this!! I thank God for this. But, somehow I can't help but to feel a little guilty that why my life is good, why others are suffering - so much?? Why? Which I am sure all of the ladies I have mentioned are pondering if not right now, probably sometime today. WHY???
Why do I get this seat and not theirs?
So, before you say Oh shit, I might be pregnant, think about the countless couples who would and do give their life savings to sit where you are sitting. Think before you complain about your growing belly, swelling feet and receiving yet another diaper bag you did not want. Think before you complain about your newborn waking you up in the middle of the night. Think before you grumble about having to call your Mom or spend time with her this Sunday. Think before you rant about the crazy things your hubby did or didn't do.
THINK - Someone - wants your seat!!
Nearly three years ago, I joined a message board. It is a board for women who are trying to conceive (TTC). Posters share their TTC experiences with other women, who are TTC. It is a great board where women talk openly and freely about what is going on with their bodies, minds and souls.
The first year I was a member I met one of these women. I know her as M, she is kind, friendly and way back then very optimistic about life. We even "graduated" together. You graduate when you conceive. Ultimately you move to another board where other women like you are talking about their ever changing pregnant bodies.
But, life is unfair and graduation did not last long, she miscarried. Being pregnant for the first time, I was speechless and did not how to respond, because the hard cold truth was - even though I was thinking of her, I was also thanking God it wasn't me! I told you it was cold and cruel. But, in all honesty, can any of you say you wouldn't have the same thoughts??
I went about my way, periodically checking the TTC board just to see how everyone was doing and such. I went into lurkedom, because trust me the last thing any non-pregnant, TTC woman wants to hear, it is from a graduate. These women do not mean to be harsh or harbor ill will, they simply want so desperately what you have, a chance to be a mother. They want to be a part of your club, your world. Yet, hearing from you is like Eddie Murphy's - You ain't got no ice cream routine. It is a slap in the face. No matter how good your intentions are, trust me, it is a slap in the face. Example, it took my husband and I 9 cycles to conceive, during those 9 cycles my emotions were all over the place. One time when I was throwing myself a pity party, a friend of mine who had already birthed SIX children said to me "I'll just have one for you." Now, at first this sounds like a very selfless act and I truly know that is how it was meant. But, it is not how it was received. It was yet another reminder that not only did she have something I so desperately wanted, she was rubbing the proverbial Eddie Murphy ice cream in my face. Not cool!! So I took my cue and laid low as I should!
During the second year, I met lady number two, who I know as G. She is funny, bright and like the first full of optimism - long ago. The second year was different for all three of us. I graduated for the second time and so did they. All of us moved to the respective baby board and waited with anticipation the arrival of the newest member of our families.
M was to be first in the birthing order, followed by G and then me.
All three of us gave birth, I was the only one who brought my baby home. You see, as I sit here my heart is breaking for them. From the moment each one told their story, my heart broke. I rubbed my then pregnant tummy, again, thanking God it wasn't me. Again, being selfish, cold and and somewhat heartless.
I have two beautiful children, healthy, strong, stubborn and at the end of the day, they are home with me.
In the last few days, there have been changes in my life and in my attitude. A slip up that may just add another addition to our family, a strong desire to scream because of the changes that may come about because of the not so being as careful as we should. And then I think about those two special women, M & G. And I know in my heart what they would give to be sitting in my seat, living my life. How can one not count their blessings?
I think about my Mom, who only lives a few minutes away from me, who is such a big part of my life and my children's lives. And then I think about a friend of mine in SC, who a month ago today flew on a plane across the states to be with her Mom before she underwent brain surgery. Her Mom has yet to come out of a coma. Her future is uncertain at this point and my friend is trying to accept the fact she may lose her mother, her best friend not even a year after saying goodbye to her Dad. What would she give for my seat?
I think about my hubby, who I love with all of my soul, but at times can make me loose it. And then I think about a friend of mine who lost her husband in Iraq, or J, who lost her husband to apnea two years ago. What would either one of them give to be sitting where I am?
Yes, my life is truly good and I am truly blessed. I know this!! I thank God for this. But, somehow I can't help but to feel a little guilty that why my life is good, why others are suffering - so much?? Why? Which I am sure all of the ladies I have mentioned are pondering if not right now, probably sometime today. WHY???
Why do I get this seat and not theirs?
So, before you say Oh shit, I might be pregnant, think about the countless couples who would and do give their life savings to sit where you are sitting. Think before you complain about your growing belly, swelling feet and receiving yet another diaper bag you did not want. Think before you complain about your newborn waking you up in the middle of the night. Think before you grumble about having to call your Mom or spend time with her this Sunday. Think before you rant about the crazy things your hubby did or didn't do.
THINK - Someone - wants your seat!!
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